I feel great
I just peed on a car
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I am one with the molecules
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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