i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
