i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
