? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize