I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
God I need to hump something, right now.
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