Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
