He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
