I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
