I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
