Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
