I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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