Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
