Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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