Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
