I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
soo... how was my night?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
