we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
