You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
