i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
