So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
