She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
