the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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