Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
