last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
that is very illegal...i love you.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
