weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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