I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
