but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
