Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
