I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize