My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
