Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
