they need to just BURY HIM!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
