How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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