It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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