You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
