also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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