I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Barsexuality is the new black.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
