do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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