thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
