Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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