Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
