Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
