Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
