I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
