this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
