this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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