those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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