The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
