a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
