you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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