I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
