no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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