I CAN MOONWALK!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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