She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
