I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
